I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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