ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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