Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
