quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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