i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
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he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
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