No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize