we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Two words: nipple clamps
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