is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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