They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
