That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM VODKA MAN
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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