i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize