do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
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she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
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Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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