I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
