Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
