ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
