I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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