Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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