Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
