masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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