Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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