i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
