i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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