the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
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