The maid of honor just puked.
My hand turned me down
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
