Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I don't deserve a penis
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
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