I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
