your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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