Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
