alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Randomize
