Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.

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  (248): If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would. http://tfl.nu/psvg
  Replies (5) Good night (570) Bad night (912)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'

  (1-904): View more from Florida

  wtf?

  (904): View more from Florida

  It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'

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  (904): Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum' (1-904): wtf? (904): It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend' http://tfl.nu/kgyk
  Replies (14) Good night (4477) Bad night (898)
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on

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  (224): She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on http://tfl.nu/bnaa
  Replies (24) Good night (684) Bad night (5179)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish

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  (828): Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish http://tfl.nu/vvox
  Replies (13) Good night (4381) Bad night (786)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore

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  (210): i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore http://tfl.nu/ys1g
  Replies (40) Good night (3681) Bad night (1178)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.

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  (404): I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious. http://tfl.nu/jbo1
  Replies (8) Good night (5528) Bad night (1062)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.

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  (847): Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer. http://tfl.nu/vx01
  Replies (15) Good night (898) Bad night (4730)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.

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  (208): Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad. http://tfl.nu/m330
  Replies (26) Good night (981) Bad night (6529)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.

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  (651): Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize. http://tfl.nu/ao6w
  Replies (5) Good night (2090) Bad night (664)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.

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  (508): He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare. http://tfl.nu/rbhx
  Replies (3) Good night (1275) Bad night (629)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.

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  (727): Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high. http://tfl.nu/hvl4
  Replies (5) Good night (786) Bad night (256)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on

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  (919): I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on http://tfl.nu/gqy6
  Replies (3) Good night (384) Bad night (417)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single

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  (719): It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single http://tfl.nu/v0bh
  Replies (3) Good night (555) Bad night (393)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.

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  (412): Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon. http://tfl.nu/le72
  Replies (0) Good night (936) Bad night (352)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....

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  (306): we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter.... http://tfl.nu/0sk3
  Replies (2) Good night (264) Bad night (537)

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