It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
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Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
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I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!