wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
