i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
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