i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
