I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
