just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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