There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I think im going to throw up on grandma
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Randomize
