he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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