He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
