Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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