i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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