Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
