I look better un-naked...
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
You're like the curious george of whores
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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