i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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