Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
