If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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