Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
