i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
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