what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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