I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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