Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
