Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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