Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
