There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Randomize
