i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
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and then he started using my ass as a stressball
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
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I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I need to align my fucking chakras
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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