he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Randomize
