No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Randomize
