get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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