I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
