my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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