allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
